I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
