It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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