she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There r osticjed everywhere
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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