How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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