how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
