you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
