I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
