There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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