i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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