why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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