I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
