I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
