You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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