I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
