So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
