Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
