I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize