you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
