Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize