Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We need to get me chipped asap
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
