nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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