My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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