i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
