i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
