Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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