i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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