I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
