Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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