oh god the rape fog is back!
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
