we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
