did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
