my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
