I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
