Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
