5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Someone shattered a urinal.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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