Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
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It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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