Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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