So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
