what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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