Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
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She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
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I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize