You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
