there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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