Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I am naked and annoyed.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
