Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
