So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
