Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
