Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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