Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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