I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
