thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
