My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
