Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
