he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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