Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
