She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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