the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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