im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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