This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
