South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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