I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
