Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
