Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
