I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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