You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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