I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
