69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
