Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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