i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just want nice things and good sex
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
