Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
