So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
